Beautiful Things Don't End Beautifully

Alright, so first of all, I'm cute. For having the guts to post again, therefore I'm cute.

Eh hyeeeeeee, okay this is awkward. 

So urm

Apparently, I just read the old posts again. Damn girl, who would even.

So it's Thursday ya haha I just had one of my worst blues moments last night. Gurlll how time flies. Ive never been this down. 

Yesterday, I had a deep talk with dad. Too deep that I shed tears. My babies, my lil siblings, I wonder if they are doing okay nowadays. Your sister is worried, and she loves you guys so much. Been wanting adiks for the whole damn life. Now that I have three, I feel sorry. Kakak is really sorry sayang. Things have not been really fair for you guys. I'm turning a blind eye, therefore I'm the bad one sayang......not our daddy. 

Shits really have their ups and downs for serious shit. No sembang here. Who would ever expect me to go this down. Down and down and down.

Making lines on my right hand is the other thing. Girl, u okay? I reached my 115th line today. Some cuts are really deep. But I feel numb to the pain already. Painless babe, I tell you. 

All these damn tears and silent screams.....kill me inside. Like who would even listen. All these people know is telling me to stop hurting myself. Gosh girls. Lord knows how much I love you guys. 

To quote some of my feelings yesterday,

I pray for you guys to stay away from feeling suicidal,

I pray for my lovely friends,

I pray for you guys to be happy all the time,

Never. Ever. Reach. The. Knife. Reach for helps ya loves.

rsmyrsln

not much

"She has so little but she gives so much"

anyone who has listened to his or her LIRA might know what this is all about. so I just came across this phrase like 10 seconds ago, lol. some people, just could not afford their lives especially when they have others' lives to be in their care too. shows some gratitude guys. be thankful for what we have.

good phrase, good time.

so as for tonight, I had posted a photo of Saleh with a caption, which goes "I sallyna ghomez tomes" ahaks that was really cute!(of me) :D heeeee

and as for today...... I fasted. puasa ganti. apparently, I have 6 days puasa debt so Im planning to finish them off faster so that the next year, I don't have to put my life on the line anymore hahahahaha. kabut habis k nak habiskan XD

I full star-ed in war today yuhuuu! theres still a lot to be upgraded wuish that will surely gonna take time. okay, so what shall I say next?

Hurm.

Imma looking.......

for...

an idea...

not too much.....

but lots.

oh yes I did my chemistry tutorial 2 today :) not all. hurm yeah I gotta admit that, chemistry learned in university is much easier than during the school days, lol maybe it's just me who was being a lazy dude, not having the heart to learn properly during schools :)

neway, glad to have the vibe back, the study vibe. I miss the days I was doing so well during my freshman years, form 1 to form 3 haishh :( not to surprise you guys, but I have this "smart kid" attitude in those days. I competed, studied like hell yeah I have to beat that ass I have to come first in class ;)

That surely helped.

You see, when there's a will there's always a way. Never feels down. If you fall 7 times, rise 8 times. Maybe your 3005785th effort does not work, but who knows? your 3005786th may become the answer :)  and that has all. thank you for reading :)

rusmi

IT IS GOOD TO BE BACK !!!!

Asslamualaikum brothers and sisters of EVERYWHERE OR ANYWHERE THAT I JUST DO NOT KNOW  WHERE  YOU GUYS ARE FROM HAHA 

Alright, starts fresh, no harms, just the bliss ones :)

Wow it has been ages man I don't know maybe 3 years since I last blogging? Ouh well I have deleted most of them(all I mean) haha(lewls) euw just what the hell am I talking about??(dont mind me :))

so why a skull? colorful skull I mean. it still feels funny typing all this out because yeah it has been ages!!!! hahahhaha ouh shet I dont see any emoji here wuu(awkward af)

If I were to be asked hows life now ouw I would say that it is actually doing fine just like me. lol I'm living my life in a more decent-so-like-or-shall-I-say-a-proper-one? tehee well I am no longer the old "Rusmi" who tended to be over-emotional-notladylike-annoying-fullofshits-anger-daringbutbrainless and I must say that the life I had in Technical Institute of Kuala Lumpur changed me in many ways, and I'm doing marvelously good now. 

To the fact that I actually know how to control myself more in various ways, how to show my gratitude to the life I'm having and how to make it a good one, a better one. 

And to the fact that I used to share my hatred here, I would like to keep my fingers all together, to seek forgiveness for the hurts that I had caused to many people, We learn to be, to act like our age as we grow older. Our maturity grows along together. No matter how hateful, shameful life we used to live in before we need to know that "life goes on with ups and downs, there are more to come, just be prepared, set the mind, and chin up! go for it!" :) 

Okay shall I say this is actually pretty short for a post after a hella long break from blogging? haha 

Well that has all. Thank you for reading 

 

 rusmi